1.Tylenol and chocolate are both poisonous to cats.
2.The ancestor of all domestic cats is the African Wild Cat which still exists today.
3.In ancient Egypt, killing a cat was a crime punishable by death.
4.In ancient Egypt, mummies were made of cats, and embalmed mice were placed with them in their tombs. In one ancient city, over 300,000 cat mummies were found.
5.In the Middle Ages, during the Festival of Saint John, cats were burned alive in town squares.
6.The first cat show was in 1871 at the Crystal Palace in London.
7.Today there are about 100 distinct breeds of the domestic cat.
8.Genetic mutation created the domestic cat which is tame from birth.
9.Like birds, cats have a homing ability that uses its biological clock, the angle of the sun, and the Earth's magnetic field. A cat taken far from its home can return to it. But if a cat's owners move far from its home, the cat can't find them.
10.Hunting is not instinctive for cats. Kittens born to non-hunting mothers may never learn to hunt.
11.Cats bury their feces to cover their trails from predators.
12.Mother cats teach their kittens to use the litter box.
13.Among other tasks, cats can be taught to use a toilet, come, sit, beg, eat with their paws, heel, jump through a hoop, play a piano, play dead, roll over, open a door, hide food in boxes, shake, and fetch.
14.Cats sleep 16 to 18 hours per day. When cats are asleep, they are still alert to incoming stimuli. If you poke the tail of a sleeping cat, it will respond accordingly.
15.In Great Britain, black cats are thought to bring good luck.
16.Besides smelling with their nose, cats can smell with an additional organ called the Jacobson's organ, located in the upper surface of the mouth.
17.Cats can't taste sweets.
18.The chlorine in fresh tap water irritates sensitive parts of the cat's nose. Let tap water sit for 24 hours before giving it to a cat.
19.The average cat food meal is the equivalent to about five mice.
20.The catgut formerly used as strings in tennis rackets and musical instruments does not come from cats. Catgut actually comes from sheep, hogs, and horses.
21.A large majority of white cats with blue eyes are deaf. White cats with only one blue eye are deaf only in the ear closest to the blue eye. White cats with orange eyes do not have this disability.
22.Neutering a cat extends its life span by two or three years.
23.Pregnant women are advised not to come in contact with cat feces, because it can contain an organism which can affect the unborn child and even cause miscarriage.
24.Ten human years translate to about 60 cat years. A one year old cat is similar in age to an 18 year old human.
Click da button to hear the Real Audio Bonestructure Cat, Bob
They throw away perfectly good food.
When you offer to share your delicious, fresh bird with them, they say, "Bla bla bla have to clean it up bla bla bla bla..."
At times their minds are controlled by horrible space aliens that make them take you to the vet, who tortures you in ways that are, well... unspeakable.
You nearly kill yourself protecting their territory from a stranger-cat, and they reward you by taking you to the vet. (see above)
They would rather die than enjoy a refreshing drink out of the commode.
They will not listen to reason. Some of my futile attempts:
"But Mrs. Smith, your parakeet was dead when I got here. I did you a favor by eating it!"
"Pardon me, Dr. Veterinarian, but if you touch me, I will kill you."
"I share my fresh mice with you, you share your roast chicken with me."
"Those lumps in my litter box are not going to remove themselves."
If a human is trying to teach you a trick by holding out a piece of meat in her hand, sink your teeth and claws into her hand, and get the food when she drops it.
Teach your human how to accept the truth. If she spends her entire allowance on a stupid cat toy for you, sniff it and walk away.
If your human companion is missing out on middle-of-the-night play time, jump on the bed and walk on her face until she wakes up.
Keep your human companion alert by pouncing from behind the couch and burying your teeth into her ankle.
"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats."
Albert Schweitzer
"Time spent with cats is never wasted."
-- Colette
"I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior."
-- Hippolyte Taine
"I love cats because I enjoy my home; and little by little, they become its visible soul."
-- Jean Cocteau
"The smallest feline is a masterpiece."
-- Leonardo da Vinci
"Of all God's creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat."
-- Mark Twain
1. Can't stick their heads out of Windows 98.
2. Export hairball command not yet available on all platforms.
3.Hard to read the monitor while sleeping.
4. Too difficult to mark every site they visit.
5. Can't help running away when they hear "You've got mail".
6. Mouse icon simply frustrating.
7. Keep bruising noses against screen when virtual aquarium initializes.
8. Not at all fooled by cat chow screensaver.
9. Involuntary tail twitching dead giveaway that they're browsing www.cathouse.com instead of working.
10. Still trying to come up with an emoticon that signifies tail waving.
11. Oh, but they will. Just as soon as Microsoft Opposable Thumbs 2000 comes out.
12. Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome.
13. Miauwing in next cubicle keeps activating your speak and type software.
14. Smell-U Smell-Me still in Alpha testing.
15. Sit and Stay were hard enough, Linux and Java are impossible.
16. Embarrased by user names like Muffin and Peewee.
17. Saliva coated mouse hard to manipulate.
18. Annoyed by lack of site www.mastersleg.com.
19. Butt sniffing more direct and less deceiving than chat rooms or virtual reality simulations.
20. tggho fdasjmnvb as4 %t6O)O Typ[pE$ SWE#koiikyg5jhn paswe3dfscs
(Too damn hard to type wth paws.)
For those poor silly humans who are cat language impaired.
Miaow - Feed me
Meeow - Pet me
Mroow - I love you
Mioo-oo-oow - I am in love and must meet my betrothed outside beneath the hedge. Don't wait up
Mrow - I feel like making noise
Rrrow-mawww - Please, the time has come to thoroughly clean the catbox
Rroww-miaaww - I have remedied the catbox untidiness by shoveling the contents as far out of the box as was possible
Miawmiaw - Play with me, you lazy human
Miawmiawr - Have you noticed lately, the sad and tragic shortage of available cat toys in this room?
Miawrmiawr - Since I can't seem to find an undamaged cat toy to play with, I shall see what happens if i sharpen my claws on this convenient piece of furniture
Raoow - I shall now spend quality time licking the most private parts of my anatomy
Mrooww - I am now recalling with sadness that some of my private parts did not return with me from that last visit to the sadistic vet
Roww-maww-roww - I am so glad that you have returned home in timely fashion with both arms full of groceries. I will now rub myself against your legs in an attempt to trip you as you walk to the kitchen
Gakk-akk-akk - My digestive passages seem to have formed a hairball. Though I have no idea where this could possibly have come from, I shall deposit it here upon the carpet so that you may examine it and attempt to discover its source
Mow - Snuggling is a good idea
moww - Shedding is good, too
Mowwr! - I was enjoying snuggling and shedding in the warm laundry until you so cruelly removed me.
Miaw!Miaw! - I have discovered that, although one may be able to wedge his body through the gap between the stove and into that little drawer filled with pots and pans, the reverse path is rather more difficult and challenging
Mrakk-kk-kk-kk-kk - I have discovered a woodchuck or similar animal
ssrrrowwah-ah-ah - Please small bird, come over here mmmmmmrrr - I believe that if I sleep in the sunlight just one more hour I may be satisfied
Mroww? - I have forced and contorted my body into this tint space in order to look unbearably cute. How am I doing?
Miaww! Riawrrrrrk! - Since you are using the can opener, I am convinced you know and understand the inestimable value of a well fed, pampered and contented cat. Please continue