PixelSpray
Bonestructure,
Inc. and Silly Ole Bear Web design, formerly Bonestructure, Inc., formerly Off a Different Wall Productions, formerly Two Idiots in a Trailer, formerly One Strange Dude, formerly One Guy and Eleven Cats,
is an institution founded nearly twenty long, hard years ago by Ron Leming and the infamous Annette Crouch. Annette, having been injured in a horrible merkin explosion, was traumatized for life and is, at present, after being institutionalized several times, lost somewhere in the weirderness of North
Carolina associating with bad company. If any of you see her, send her
home, or at least have her email home.
Bonestructure
originally began with the purpose of terrorizing small children, fuzzy
animals and grannies, as well as satirizing, skewering and parodying (say
that three times very fast) small press organizations, writers, associations,
newsletters and publications in the science fiction, fantasy and horror genres. Publications and organizations which we supported and belonged to. It's called biting the hand that strokes you. To that purpose, we established OHOWA (Organization of Horror and Occult Writers Anonymous) and published
several issues of DAILY BONESTRUCTURE, special publications such as TALES FROM THE WEIRDERNESS, DOOM AND DESPAIR and the now collectible, short lived but spectacular ANNETTE. We also served as interim editor for two issues of the Small Press Writers and Artists Newsletter. That publication died
a horrible, bloody death less than a year later. Coincidence. I don't think
so. No more coincidence than that there are twenty four hours in a day
and twenty four beers in a case.
DAILY BONESTRUCTURE became something of a cult publication, with our readers including such
folks as John Betancourt, Joe Clifford Faust, Kevin J. Anderson., J. N. Williamson, Janet Fox, Robert Bloch, Stephen King, Piers Anthony and Harlan Ellison. (Well, as for Harlan Ellison and Stephen King, we assume they
read the rag. We sent it to them).
Our current
projects include this web page, personal website design for crazy people at very
reasonable prices or barter, excellent graphic arts, and many many writing projects. Why, we're so busy we hardly have time to pull our pants up. We'll do anything we can get our grubby little hands on to make money. If you have some money, why not give it to us. We'll do anything legal for it, but donations are
desperately needed and always terribly appreciated.
Ron Leming
(AKA Bones, AKA Don Clinton, AKA Poli Payestewa, AKA Silly Ole Bear) is an old (well, not THAT old) Haight Ashbury hippy, ex-rock and roll musician, ex-outlaw biker, ex-martial artist, ex-porno actor (one of the best jobs I've ever had, actually), ex-semi-legitimate actor, ex-recording engineer and A&R man, ex-restauranteur, ex-psychologist, ex-bodybuilder (I've noticed upon rebuilding this site, that I'm certainly a lot of exes...I wonder if that means something? Hmmmm.), practicing psychic (and, by the Goddess, I'll keep practicing until I get it right), professional artist, writer and editor, anthologist, eccentric, iconoclast, beat up, wore down, tired out and a whole other bunch of weird and unusual stuff, including being a part time cashier at Wal-Mart. I am also an ordained minister and a Native American (Hopi) Shaman, though not practicing at the moment (Unless someone REALLY needs it).
Suffice to say I'm a very strange, weird, individualistic and unusual person (typical writer and artist), though not without my charms and hidden attributes. I've been called a rennaisence man more than once, and I suppose that does rather describe me.
I've lived a typical writer's life, including a long stint in Berkeley, weirdness
capitol of the known world, and life in Haight Ashbury in the 60s. This means I've pretty much done anything and anyone that could be. I have eaten and drunk life to the dregs, so to speak. And what I haven't done, I'm still trying to do. While this lifestyle has its definite rewards (someone once said of me that neither my virtues nor my vices were anywhere near moderate. Someone else said I needed a keeper.Both of these statements are true.), it's also been a very sad and tragic life for me, with tragic random occurences such as ending up alone looking for my fifth or sixth wife somewhere out in the weirderness. Or
having been physically and mentally abused, not only as a kid, but as an adult, including having someone I loved try to kill me with this really fast really hurty thing called a bullet. A memorable, but unpleasant experience, to say the least.
You don't even want to know how a man can be the victim of abuse, but if you really NEED to find out, and you happen to be a very supportive female, write me and we'll discuss my long, tragic life story. No men or hedgehogs need to reply to this particular aspect of existence...
I also have
a 75 year old pet mink named Peeve, who, unfortunately, passed away approximately
73 years ago and is a little ratty. (Shhh...don't tell him, he doesn't know and I would hate to hurt his feelings. His head's already a little loose and a sudden shock might cause it to unship itself all together.)
I've been writing for lo, these many years and have had fiction, non-fiction and art published
in zines like YEAR'S BEST HORROR 14, IRONMAN, FANGORIA, MAYFAIR, OUTLAW
BIKER, FANTASY REVIEW, several Chaosium games, many online sites, including a couple of my stories you'll find at this site, and many, many others. I have a fantasy novel, THE GUTBUCKET QUEST, co-written with Piers Anthony, due from TOR whenever TOR gets off their butt and stops stalling.
We received word today that the book, THE GUTBUCKET QUEST by Ron Leming and Piers Anthony, is finally scheduled for publication by TOR in May of 2000. This is nice news, but still something of a disappointment due to the fact that the publisher consistently postponed it and postponed it. What I mean to say is, publishers suck, pretty much.
I am, as well,
a total computer geek. I try to build em, fix em, tear em up, throw em on the floor, blame all my spelling mistakes on them, abuse them, talk to them, yell and scream and beg them and so forth. If I had the patience to answer basic questions instead of telling people to get a copy of IDIOTS GUIDE TO WINDOWS/PC'S, I'd probably be a tech somewhere. I am also a damn fine graphic artist on the puter. This is a great joy to me, as I had to stop doing art on paper, at the height of my popularity, due to carpal tunnel syndrome.
Writing
isn't an occupation, it's a chronic mental disorder. Totally incurable.
I've enjoyed
several fine friends and mentors in my life, including Erle Stanley Gardner, J.N. Williamson, Ramsey Campbell, Robert Bloch, and my present mentor, friend and adopted pop, Piers Anthony. For those of you who don't know it, no matter how you react to his writing (and he is the top selling fantasy author in the world, so there, nyaaah.), Piers is the most honest, generous, purely wonderful human being I've ever known. He has literally saved my life and sanity more than once, and is a true gentleman, in the best meaning of the word.
My own ongoing
projects include a science fiction novel based on my native, Hopi religion, CHILDREN OF THE SUN, and a horror novel, GRAVEYARD. I'm also actively illustrating in the science fiction, horror and fantasy genres once again, doing some graphic arts and trying to get ahead designing odd web pages. I'm also somewhat actively
looking for a new wife with nice, normal problems, rather than the totally
absurd problems I've had to deal with in the past.
"But mom,
everyone has one". "Oh, if everyone went out and got an Acme rocket suit and an Acme catapult and hurled themselves into the air until they were high enough to start the rocket pack and then slammed into a cliff and fell 25,000 feet to the bottom and broke every single bone in their bodies, would you too?" Seriously, though (dirty word, that), because I can? Because I want to? Because I have to? Because the voices in my head tell me to? Partly it's to vent my brain. It's like hair. If you don't let it out it stays all inside and clogs things up. Spider woman knows, my brain is weird enough already. Like Bad Operating system. Restart
life in DOS mode.
When I began this site, my sincere hope was that women who happened to be crazy, skinny, short, flat chested, redheaded talkative, semi-literate, spaced out and as horny as I am might get in
touch with me for a long term relationship. Though any woman who wishes to apply for the job will have to be special.
I have
only four rules in life...never turn down free food or sex...never plan
ahead...never tell everything you know.
I'd also desperately like to promote a little work. It's not easy starting up a business, especially when you have no money to invest in promotion and such. Webpage design (much better than this, though people seem quite impressed with the design of these pages), graphic art for ezines or paper zines, writing, consultation, whatever. I can actually do dang near anything that's legal, and have been known to work for barter. In fact, below, you'll find a list of things I need that i'm willing to barter for.
People can also write to me for angst, advice, psychic stuff, silly ass reasons, whatever. Send me odd things in the mail, I don't care. If I like whatever it is, It will find a place on this site. Though the post office is simply crawling with psychopaths, sociopaths, serial killers, maniacs and weirdos, they still manage to do a pretty decent job of delivering the mail. My address for snail mail is Ron Leming, 1526 Bell 103W, Amarillo, TX, 79106. For those who insist upon email, you can reach me at bone@tcac.net.
I'd change
the world, but I don't know the souce code. Must be a Microsoft product.
