Excuse me, but your ignorance is cramping my conversation
If he said what he thought, he'd be speechless
I always try to be tolerant of those who disagree with me. After all, they have a right to their own futile opinion
You have your problems and I have you
It's pretty hard to resist temptation when I've worked so long and hard to find it
I worked for hours jury-rigging these boobs for you
It seems to me there's a frightful amount of conversation going on
Early to bed and early to rise and you meet very few worthwhile people
Poverty is the banana skin on the doorstep of romance
I warn you, from now on I'm going to exert my personality
The kitten shimmered into the room and greeted all those present with a friendly shriek
Pretty silly you'd feel if you suddenly woke in the middle of the night and found him murdering you in your sleep
A woman tends to lose her dignity when she is being shoved into cupboards with a bag over her head
It wasn't exactly a fling. More like a cavort, really
Be it ever so vile, there's no place like home
"Still, women are women." "No, they aren't. Not all of them."
When I come to a decision, that decision stays come to
I couldn't see her eyes well, but I knew they'd be exactly the color eyes ought to be
He had only one eye to glare with, but he made it do the work of two
I never wanted them all, only the ones I wanted
I've always felt that if one was going to suffer, then that suffering should be well planned
She suffered from an enormous excess of personality
It doesn't take much. At least it didn't used to
Things just seemed to go in one brain and out the other
I wondered if she realized that time was killing her far more quickly than she was killing it
He met his death in a bizarre twine accident
Old age runs in my family
He's so lazy he won't even get up to fart
It was a plan so stunning you could have put a tail on it and called it a weasel
We used to live in a haunted hovel
Here was an anamoly among paradoxes
I've always found that when you go to a restaurant, it's best to find a table near the waitress
Now, here was a personality-maiming opportunity
You'd have to count your teeth if she kissed you
He was the kind of man who was most certain about things he knew absolutely nothing about
Home is where you can scratch anywhere you itch
I just hate it when you talk with your mouth open
She looked like she sorted wet cats for a living
She had ugly she hadn't even used yet. My only hope was that the wind wouldn't blow her clothes off
My fault. I mistook this for a civilized planet
The house was decorated with selected portions of goggle-eyed animals assasinated, one presumes, by the owner
I won't say my life passed before me, but a large portion of it did wave companionably
He had all the distinguishing marls of a man who is trying to think
She raised an eyebrow. It surprised me. I hadn't expected her to say that
When the chips are down, the cow is empty
I've always thought of women as being kissable and cuddly and smelling good. I hope you haven't been disappointed as often as I have
That's worse than shaving with a live weasel
You're going to wake up dead one morning, and then you'll realize that I was right
It's not by chance that most of the country is located outdoors
Never expose un unconscious man to an angry, wet cat
Oh, no, it's the legendary clown of death
I had a large, inflamed cyst of respect for her
He was a finalist in the Sudden Outburst of Maniacal Hallway Laughter Tournament
He stared right at my kneecap and demanded I stop telling dwarf jokes
I thought it was someone from the Department of Making Loud Crashing Noises
It appeared he had to disguise himself and sneak up on his brain in order to encourage it to work properly
Those of us who are not bog scum might wish to consider a different course of action