Though you would not have expected it from the exterior, he was one of those men in whose cerebra the gray matter sloshes restlessly about, producing strong currents and witty dialogue...

There are moments when every thinking person has to admit that enough is enough, and it's my opinion that such a moment has arrived.

His gaze had never been more dynamic than that of a fried egg.

After ten minutes of it, he was beginning to weave dreams of knotted sheets and a swift getaway through the bedroom window in the middle of the night.

The gnats were fooling all about.

It was of those, clammy accusing sort of eyes, and it looked at me as if I were some sort of unecessary product the cat had brought in after a ramble among the local ash cans.

The beer which had flowed overnight with a fairly steady gush into the small hours had left me rather pessimistic that morning.

It was a dense, practically liquid mass of stupidity.

I had lost pounds in weight and, no doubt, permanently injured my entire system.

He was irredeemably sordid.

I've got news that will send you dancing around the house.

Conversing with her, one felt that her thoughts were far away, and that those thoughts were stinkers.

He was apt to dash off and go climbing mountains. And, what's more, to sing while doing it.

I'm not worried about making my ends meet, but it would be nice if they'd wave hello to each other now and then.

If I've done anything I'm sorry for, I'm willing to be forgiven.

If that was to happen, you'd stand out like a man standing in a lake with a small wooden duck on his head.

I was distracted by the roar of the butterflies in the adjoining meadow.

When you talk to me, shut up.

Like many people of exceptional intelligence, he used his mind to make his problems more complicated.

I guess being full of crap must affect your short term memory.

Somebody was screaming in agony. Fortunately, I speak it fluently.

He looked like a fish with lung trouble.

It was a rough bar. There was blood on the ceiling. I generally don't mind blood on the floor. But blood on the ceiling, that's a rough bar.

He was one of those strong silent types who don't speak until they're spoken to, and then you wish he hadn't.

I've never seen such a sickeningly well behaved child in my life. It makes me despair of human nature.

I had been haunted by the fear that it would get into the wrong hands, and the hands it had gotten into couldn't have been more the sort of hands you would have wished it hadn't.

"There, there," Pooh said. "You'll soon grow a new one."

The hopeless dawn broke with a pitiful moan.

As I closed the door behind her, I had rather the feeling one gets when parting company with one of those fiends with hatchets who are always going about slaying six.

The world was, as usual, out of sorts.

"Well, all right, but don't forget what I told you." "Told me what?" "I don't know. Something, probably."

He looked like a vulture dissatisfied with its breakfast corpse.

He wouldn't hurt a fly. Why, I've seen him take a fly tenderly in his hand and carry it outside to freedom.

He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat.

Living has gotten to be such a habit with me that I am unable to conceive of any other condition.

It is an unforgivable and wistful effort in the direction of whimsy.

Even her bad eye managed to emit a happy glint.

"Okay, if that's the way you want to play it," I said to the door, which chose smugly not to respond.

I suspected she not only had principles, but knew how to use them as well.

There's little I haven't tried and even less I wouldn't.

I didn't realize I was lost until I got where I was going and realized I wasn't there.

It was the crack of dawn. We stuffed the crack and went back to bed.

Excuse me, but your ignorance is cramping my conversation

If he said what he thought, he'd be speechless

I always try to be tolerant of those who disagree with me. After all, they have a right to their own futile opinion

You have your problems and I have you

It's pretty hard to resist temptation when I've worked so long and hard to find it

I worked for hours jury-rigging these boobs for you

It seems to me there's a frightful amount of conversation going on

Early to bed and early to rise and you meet very few worthwhile people

Poverty is the banana skin on the doorstep of romance

I warn you, from now on I'm going to exert my personality

The kitten shimmered into the room and greeted all those present with a friendly shriek

Pretty silly you'd feel if you suddenly woke in the middle of the night and found him murdering you in your sleep

A woman tends to lose her dignity when she is being shoved into cupboards with a bag over her head

It wasn't exactly a fling. More like a cavort, really

Be it ever so vile, there's no place like home

"Still, women are women." "No, they aren't. Not all of them."

When I come to a decision, that decision stays come to

I couldn't see her eyes well, but I knew they'd be exactly the color eyes ought to be

He had only one eye to glare with, but he made it do the work of two

I never wanted them all, only the ones I wanted

I've always felt that if one was going to suffer, then that suffering should be well planned


She suffered from an enormous excess of personality

It doesn't take much. At least it didn't used to

Things just seemed to go in one brain and out the other

I wondered if she realized that time was killing her far more quickly than she was killing it

He met his death in a bizarre twine accident

Old age runs in my family

He's so lazy he won't even get up to fart

It was a plan so stunning you could have put a tail on it and called it a weasel

We used to live in a haunted hovel

Here was an anamoly among paradoxes

I've always found that when you go to a restaurant, it's best to find a table near the waitress

Now, here was a personality-maiming opportunity

You'd have to count your teeth if she kissed you

He was the kind of man who was most certain about things he knew absolutely nothing about

Home is where you can scratch anywhere you itch

I just hate it when you talk with your mouth open

She looked like she sorted wet cats for a living

She had ugly she hadn't even used yet. My only hope was that the wind wouldn't blow her clothes off

My fault. I mistook this for a civilized planet

The house was decorated with selected portions of goggle-eyed animals assasinated, one presumes, by the owner

I won't say my life passed before me, but a large portion of it did wave companionably

He had all the distinguishing marls of a man who is trying to think

She raised an eyebrow. It surprised me. I hadn't expected her to say that

When the chips are down, the cow is empty

I've always thought of women as being kissable and cuddly and smelling good. I hope you haven't been disappointed as often as I have

That's worse than shaving with a live weasel

You're going to wake up dead one morning, and then you'll realize that I was right

It's not by chance that most of the country is located outdoors

Never expose un unconscious man to an angry, wet cat

Oh, no, it's the legendary clown of death

I had a large, inflamed cyst of respect for her

He was a finalist in the Sudden Outburst of Maniacal Hallway Laughter Tournament

He stared right at my kneecap and demanded I stop telling dwarf jokes

I thought it was someone from the Department of Making Loud Crashing Noises

It appeared he had to disguise himself and sneak up on his brain in order to encourage it to work properly

Those of us who are not bog scum might wish to consider a different course of action

How many Devilbunnies does it take to change a lightbulb? One, provided it has arms.

Why do Devilbunnies have sex on their minds all the time? Because their faces are covered with pubic hair.

Why don't Devilbunny mothers breastfeed their children? Because it hurts too much to boil the nipples.

What happened to the Devilbunny that didn't pay his garbage bill? He starved to death.

What equipment do they issue to Devilbunny sewer workers? Straws

What social gaffe did the Devilbunny commit? He tried to talk with someone's foot in his mouth.

What do Devilbunnies eat when they go on a diet? Dwarf grandmothers.

How can you tell a Devilbunny bar? Even the pool table has no balls.

What's the difference between a Devilbunny and a shaower? If you don't know, don't stand under either of them

What's brown and furry and lives in the forest? Smoky the Devilbunny.

What do you do with dead Devilbunny twins? Use one to swat the flies swarming around the other

How do you play with a dead Devilbunny baby? Cut off its arms and legs and use it for a football.

Why is it easier to unload a truck full of Devilbunnies than a truckfull of bricks? You can't use a pitchfork on bricks.

The Devilbunny girl told her mother she was pregnant. "Is it yours?" the mother asked.

Why can't Devilbunny farmers raise chickens? They plant the eggs too deep.

Why did the Devilbunny cry when he stepped in a pile of dogshit? He thought he was melting.

What happened when they dropped an atomic bomb on Devilbunny Central? It did $5.98 in damage.

What do you get when you cross a Devilbunny with a pig? Nothing. There are some things even a pig won't do.

What's a fart? Devilbunny foreplay.

What do you call a Devilbunny with brain damage? Gifted.

Why do Devilbunnies rub their eyes in the morning? Because they have no balls to scratch.

What do you call a Devilbunny with no arms or legs? Trustworthy.